Let's Cool It with the Kobe Talk

Is every done changing their underwear yet? No? I'll give you a minute, meet me in the next paragraph.

All right. Nice dunk. Contested, I get it. But why is the collective sports world ejaculating every time a clip of this is played? AP did it. Some guy at CBS Sports did it. My favorite overreaction comes courtesy of Ramona Shelburne (yikes) who appeared to feel like this was a dunk to win Game 7 of the Finals, not in the middle of game 5 of a series against a 7-seed.

"He sprung, more than he jumped. Like he used to. From a place only he knows how to reach."


Cool your jets Ramona. I'm pretty sure there are more than a few athletes who can reach "dunking on Emeka Okafor" heights.  The guy doesn't look like he can jump more than 5 inches off of the ground. 


"Only he really knows. Because only he ever jumps from the place he did Tuesday night."


Again, basically everyone over 6 feet has the potential to do this to Okafor. I love the guy from his UConn days, but c'mon. 


This is really just part of a bigger problem. Kobe is a great player, I admit that.  Sure, he never would have beat the Celtics in Game 7 if they had Kendrick Perkins, but that's beside the point. He is an absurd scorer, and has become just unselfish enough to not have everyone outside of LA completely hating his guts.  He probably is the best player of the past decade, with Timmy Duncan as the other contender. But I'm getting pretty sick and tired of everyone starting a Kobe love-fest whenever he accomplishes something that we should already expect from a guy who is as good as he is.  


I understand that everyone has been trying to force Kobe as the face of the league for the past decade. From Nike trying to thrust the whole, "Black Mamba" (A nickname he gave himself by the way. Only an asshole like Kobe would give himself a nickname.) thing down our throats, to the David Stern and the NBA bribing some girl in Colorado to keep quiet about the league's "super-star" trying to give her the trinity. Or rape her. Either way Kobe wasn't doing something good. But this is taking it too far. 


Let's not glorify a dunk just because he did it. Blake Griffin took a shit last week that looked relatively similar to that jam. Lebron James already ordered toilet paper with various images from that dunk. Hell, Nate Robinson is even wiping his ass with that slam.  Not entirely sure why I keep making analogies to taking a dump (maybe because I'm currently taking one), but you get the point. We've seen much better, let's not all have accidents in our pants just because Kobe did it. Especially you Ramona. 


And let's settle this now while we're at it. He will never overtake Jordan, Bird, Magic, Russell, Kareem, Wilt or Hakeem.  Those guys are legends.  Think about it. Think about how when fellow players and sportswriters look back on those guys.  It's like they're talking about Gods.  They speak with a reverence.  No one is going to be like that with Kobe. Many of the veterans still see him as the petulant kid who had Shaq (and, oh I don't know, 6 more championships) forced out of LA just so it could be his town.  Many remember when he threw a hissy fit and almost signed with the Clippers.  Those guys ahead of him wouldn't have done that, and that's why he'll never be greater than them.